In recent years, you may have noticed that women around the world are redefining the value of platonic female relationships and beginning to prioritize deep emotional connections that meaningfully enrich our lives. But what does this mean? Are female relationships experiencing a renaissance?

Why Female Friendships Are Experiencing a Renaissance

The term renaissance refers to the rebirth or revival of something that has lost its value. Historically, female friendships have been overshadowed by society’s emphasis on romantic and family relationships. However, this perspective is gradually changing – more and more, we begin to feel the need for depth, authenticity, and understanding that we often lack in romantic and family relationships.

This shift can be attributed to the strengthening role of women, various women’s and feminist movements fighting for women’s rights and status in society. Female collaboration is now celebrated instead of competition. We are beginning to challenge the outdated narrative of rivalry and instead embrace solidarity and mutual support.

According to a study published in Psychological Science, female friendships have evolved to prioritize community and supportive bonds that provide essential emotional support, which we often miss in romantic and family circles. (source)

The chapter “Like a Sister: Women and Friendship” from the book A Mind of Her Own: The Psychology of Women describes how female friendships often mimic close-knit community relationships among blood relatives, emphasizing empathy and sensitivity to others’ needs. (Campbell, Anne, 2013)

During the pandemic, this transformation became even more pronounced. Isolation highlighted how essential meaningful connections are for our mental health. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 61% of women reported an increased sense of loneliness during the pandemic, leading many to reassess their relationships. (source)

However, this renaissance is not just about reviving old friendships – it is about transforming them. We are actively seeking friendships that align with our values and support our personal growth. These bonds are becoming deeper, more intentional, and ultimately more fulfilling than ever before.

In Your 20s

A period of newfound independence, a time of exploration and self-discovery. Friendships during this phase of life are often formed at school, work, or parties. I don’t want to say that these friendships are superficial, but they certainly come with fewer expectations. At this stage, we tend to focus more on quantity than quality. We seek a sense of belonging and look for someone to celebrate our youth and freedom with.

Personally, during this time, I had a lot of “friends” around me. Each one served a different purpose. One I studied with, another I partied with, and a third was my gossip partner. I look back on this period fondly, but I did miss deeper connections, and honestly, I’m no longer in touch with most of them.

That doesn’t mean these friendships weren’t meaningful – not at all. At that time, they provided me with a safe space, entertainment, and the best gossip in town.

In Your 30s and 40s

As we grow older and take on more responsibilities and experiences, friendships often take a backseat. You may feel like you’re losing friends around you. But in reality, this phase is when friendships grow and flourish with you. Stronger and deeper bonds are formed, offering emotional support and understanding.

At this stage, we prioritize quality over quantity. We want to have women around us who help us navigate life’s challenges, who are our support system, and who we can truly rely on. No longer is it enough to just have someone to hold our hair back after a wild party or to lend us a spare tampon.

We focus on our real needs – we are partners, mothers, entrepreneurs, managers – and we seek like-minded female companions who share our values and life experiences.

The lucky ones among us have carried one or two solid friendships from previous years. That happened to me too – growing up together into responsible adults and witnessing each other’s evolution has been and still is an incredibly enriching experience.

However, finding new friendships in this phase of life can be challenging. With increasing responsibilities and roles, it sometimes feels like an almost impossible task. The key is to be clear about what we want from a friendship. Then, we just need to keep our eyes open – maybe she’s at the gym, in the supermarket where you shop every day after work, or even sitting across from you in the office. Sometimes, the most valuable friendships are hidden in the places we see everyday.

In Your 50s 

At this stage, we mostly redefine, nurture, and strive to maintain our relationships. Gradually, we gain more free time and have the opportunity to invest it in quality moments spent with loved ones.

Friendships in this phase often become a source of strength and emotional support, especially during life transitions such as retirement, becoming grandparents, or coping with the loss of a loved one. A longitudinal study from the Journal of Aging Studies revealed that women with strong friendships report significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and overall happiness.

I haven’t reached this stage yet, but I imagine it as a calmer, more fulfilling time in life. I believe that my friends and I will still meet for coffee, read books together, and take pottery classes. We’ll reminisce about the old days and gossip about the same people we talked about twenty years ago. I’m really looking forward to it.

How to Build and Maintain Female Friendships

Building meaningful female friendships takes effort, but the reward is absolutely worth it. Focus on shared activities – personally, I started organizing Girls’ Nights on various themes. Sometimes we painted, made our own candles, practiced witchcraft, read tarot cards, or watched our favorite movies together.

However, you don’t always need a planned activity. Sometimes, it’s enough just to be there for each other – to listen, chat, laugh, vent frustrations together, shed a few tears, and then laugh again.

The key to deepening these relationships is communication. Be open, honest, and willing to share your thoughts and feelings. Vulnerability builds trust, which is the foundation of any strong friendship. At the same time, it’s essential to set boundaries, maintain mutual respect, and keep a healthy balance.

However, meeting in person is the most important step. Set a special day each month with your friend or group of friends – a time when you all know you’re available for each other. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to coordinate schedules, but if we can synchronize our menstrual cycles, we can surely manage this too!

Conclusion

Last year, I attended my best friend’s wedding. I saw her standing there, radiant in her white dress, and I reflected on all the memories we had shared. I cried, yet I was incredibly happy at the same time. And I was so proud of her, rejoicing for her like never before, even though deep down, I feared I was losing her just a little. But at that moment, I also felt that there was still so much ahead of us – that this was simply a new chapter in our friendship.

To conclude, I’d like to mention a beautiful quote from Charlotte York in my favorite show, Sex and the City:
“Maybe we can be each other’s soulmates, and then let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”
(Season 4, Episode 1 – The Agony and the ‘Ex’-tacy)

Because sometimes, I truly feel that way. Female friendships are so much more than just shopping trips and gossiping (although, let’s be honest, that has its place too!). They are like tree rings – marking the passage of time, growing with us through life. Watching each other evolve, mature, become mothers, or simply navigate life is a truly beautiful experience.

Let’s learn to celebrate one another and always be there for each other – forever.